


5 Times Mabel Tried to Hook Up Dipper and Norman, and the One Time She (accidentally) Succeeded

by TypewriterLove



Category: Gravity Falls, ParaNorman (2012)
Genre: 5, 5+1 Things, Crossover, M/M, Mabel is a devious lil matchmaker, paranormal boyfriends, supernatural cuties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-23
Packaged: 2017-11-26 13:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TypewriterLove/pseuds/TypewriterLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boy meets boy. Boy hunts monsters, runs away from vampires and goes swimming with boy. Boy's sister does her best to get them to smooch- wait, <i>what?</i></p><p>This is the love story of two adolescent dorks who, were it not thanks to the matchmaking superpowers of one Mabel Pines, would probably remain totally clueless for the rest of their lives. Honestly, what would they do without her?<br/>(crossposted from tumblr c:)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Day they First Met

Mabel's romantic campaign unfortunately began not an hour after the twins had first met Norman Babcock. They'd come across him in the midst of gunning the golf cart away from a mountain troll who, apparently, became _very_ cranky when he woke up early from a nap. (But really, it was hardly their fault that the troll liked to sleep right where buried treasure was rumored to be buried)

Dipper had been trying to recall his mental map of the forest's trails and Mabel had been mostly concentrating on not flying out of her seat, when the cart had come screeching into the middle of a tree-lined clearing where, to the both of their surprise, a boy in a bright red hoodie appeared to be talking to himself. There was a frozen moment where the boy stared at the twins and the twins stared right back, before earth-quaking footsteps came closer and the troll's ugly face loomed over the tops of the trees. Dipper gave a shout of surprise and veered the golf cart over towards the frozen kid, yelling "Get in!" as Mabel clamped a hand on the guys' hood and yanked him into the cart. 

"W-wha-?" the boy stammered, before craning his neck around the edge of the cart and catching sight of the rapidly approaching monster. "Oh god, _go go GO!_ " he yelped, clinging to the pole that supported the cart's roof. "Yeah, that's kind of the idea here!" Dipper shouted, voice a bit high from the stress of piloting a creaky old golf cart through the woods and away from a rampaging mountain troll. 

(Also, he's twelve.) 

The cart hit a particularly large bump, and there was the terrifying sensation of being air-born before the wheels hit the packed dirt with a thud. Dipper glanced past Mabel's head towards the new kid, but Dipper _might_ have stared for a bit longer than strictly necessary, as the cart suddenly swerved towards an oak. Turning back to the wheel, he frantically hurtled past the trunks before taking a sharp curve on the path, the treaded rubber wheels kicking up plumes of dirt. As the trail straightened out, Mabel, who'd been very determinedly focusing on _not_ puking, now released her hands from their grip against her mouth. "So! What's your name, kid?" she asked cheerily, grinning at the still-petrified boy- who blinked at her for a few seconds, eyes flicking from the pathway, to Mabel, to the troll, to Mabel again, before gasping "Um, Norman?"

Mabel blinked. " _Norman,_ huh? You wouldn't happen to know anything about gnomes, would you?" she asked cautiously, before nodding contentedly at Norman's mystified expression, as if his confusion was all the answer she needed. "Is that we're running from?" He asked nervously, sparing another peek at the still-advancing giant. "Hm? Oh no, that's a troll! Gnomes are much smaller, and they puke rainbows." Mabel replied matter-of-factly, pulling a map out of the glove compartment and unfolding it before a thought struck her. "Oh, and sometimes they kidnap girls too! . . hehe, that was fun." She grinned at the memory, eyes vacant, as Dipper risked another glance at the ki- Norman. Norman's face had grown yet _more_ puzzled, if that was even possible, and Dipper was sure he would have laughed if not for, y'know, rampaging troll intent on eating them whole. 

"Sorry, ignore my sister. She's not always. . . well no, she actually _is_ always is like that." Dipper called, sighing as Mabel squawked "Am not!" and whacked his arm with the semi-folded map. Dipper was pretty sure he saw Norman stifle a laugh in his peripheral vision, but he didn't have much time to devote to this observation as Mabel suddenly screeched " _CLIFF!_ ", pointing, somewhat unnecessarily, at the precipice directly in front of them. "Hold on tight!" Dipper gritted, before he slowed the cart down to a crawl. "Dipper. What are you doing?" Mabel whisper-screamed, staring at him like he may have lost his mind. Norman kept looking over his shoulder anxiously, his knuckles growing whiter with each thudding footstep. "Just _hold_ _on_ okay?!" Dipper yelled frantically, keeping track of the troll's progress in the rearview mirror. Norman seemed to be muttering something like "ohgodohgod, I'mgoingtodieina _golfcart,_ oh _god"_ under his breath. 

Finally, the troll caught up with them. It gave a rumble of satisfaction at the motionless position of the cart, before sprinting towards them. Each step made the pebbles and scattered leaves lining the path jump inches higher and higher into the air as Dipper's chest began to reverberate, his teeth chattering. "So I know I don't know you or anything," Norman blurted suddenly, gulping nervously. "But now seems like it might be an excellent time to _DRIVE._ " 

And with that, Dipper slammed his sneaker down on the gas and they went zooming towards the rocky ledge. 

Mabel screamed. Norman yelled. The troll bellowed. The cart groaned so loud, it may have been shouting itself. And the second Norman had resigned himself to his future as a bright-red pancake, Dipper turned the steering wheel as far to the left as it could go before it unscrewed. The cart veered back onto the path, it's still-yelling occupants safe and sound.

Unfortunately, the troll didn't seem to have such a good turning radius. It went leaping off of the cliff face and, for the split-second before gravity kicked in, it kept sprinting. A roar echoed up from the cliff as he fell, before a loud "THUD" was heard, and the shout abruptly cut off.

Meanwhile, Dipper had eased off the feeble engine and parked the cart by the side of the path, where it gave a weak grinding sound before Dipper switched the engine off. He stared at the cart's other passengers, who had finally stopped yelling in favor of panting heavily and staring wide-eyed at each other, and Norman's hand was still clenched in a tight first around the pole. Mabel blinked and stared at her brother. "That. . . was. . . SO COOL!!" she crowed, grinning and tackling her brother in a sweater-y hug. 

Dipper huffed a breathless laugh and pushed her back. "Yeah, yeah, thanks. We should probably get the cart back to the Shack before it dies." As if to punctuate his idea, the cart's frame creaked ominously.

"U-um. . ." 

Dipper whipped his head to the side, having almost forgotten about the cart's third occupant. "Oh, right, sorry! Uh, Norman right? I can drop you off by Downtown if you want. Or, uh, in that field." Dipper added, suddenly remembering where they'd met the guy. Norman hesitantly uncurled his fist, shoving his hands into his hoodie's pockets. "Um, Downtown would be fine." he said, biting his lip and staring at his lap while occasionally glancing at the twins, as if he was holding back a wave of questions. 

The ride back to town was mostly uneventful, save for the tense moment where Dipper swore that cart was about to collapse into a pile of parts. He's fairly certain that it was by the sheer force of his willpower alone that kept the cart running, although it complained loudly for the rest of the drive. Mabel kept staring at Norman, and her grin would widen every time he glanced up at her. Dipper was tempted to tell her to knock it off, but he kept looking at the kid too, so maybe it wasn't really his place to judge. 

Norman mumbled "Here's good", once they passed by the Gravity Fall's Post Office, so Dipper pulled over and the spiky-haired boy got out. Norman paused, mouth slightly open as he scuffed his sneakers on the pavement, before he just snapped his jaw shut. "Um, thanks." he muttered, blushing a bright crimson before he turning on his heel and walking very determinedly down the sidewalk. 

Dipper and Mabel watched him go. "Well that was weird." Dipper announced, turning the cart back onto the road and heading for the Shack. Mabel just grinned at him, eyes wide. When she continued smiling, unblinkingly, Dipper cracked. ". . .what is it Mabel?" he asked cautiously. Mabel just leaned back in her seat and propped her sneakers up on the dash, smiling knowingly. "Oh, I don't know~ That  Norman guy was pretty cute though, wasn't he?" she mused conversationally. "Wh- how would I know?" Dipper spluttered, hating himself for the blush that came rushing to his cheeks. 

Mabel just made a thoughtful humming sound and smiled for the rest of the drive home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's hardly any interaction between our two favorite dorks, and I'm sorry for that. I just really wanted a Doctor Who-esque meeting where they link hands (or, in this case, jump into golfcarts) and run away from some monster thing u v u 
> 
> The idea is that Norman was talking to a ghost when the twins first saw him (also, that clearing is the same one mentioned in [Blame It On the Rain](http://archiveofourown.org/works/601904)), and that in the end of this chapter, Norman desperately wanted to ask the twins about everything, because they came off as so accustomed to gnomes and trolls and all, but Mabel was grinning creepily at him and Dipper seemed really cool? So he bit his tongue and got embarrassed when they dropped him off and then spent the rest of the day beating himself up inside and smacking his forehead for not just _asking_ them about stuff.
> 
> BUT THIS SHALL BE REMEDIED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. 


	2. 2. At The Diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was obvious to him that the two mysterious twins (he hadn't even caught their names- god, he was so _stupid!_ ) were well-versed in the supernatural side of Gravity Falls, and Norman was itching with curiosity about what, exactly, they knew. He spent entire afternoons mapping out potential conversations in his head, in hopes for whenever he ran into them again. Tried to memorize the most important questions he wanted to ask, and how he'd reply if they were to ask him any. 
> 
> Of course, all of Norman's careful planning was blown out the door when, in mid-bite of his scrambled eggs, the two twins came bounding into Greasy's Diner on a sunny Tuesday morning. 

It'd been about two weeks since the incident in the forest, when Norman and the Pines met up once more- and Norman had pretty much spent the entire time annoyed with himself for not asking the twins more questions. Even though he hadn't been there for long, Norman could tell something was wrong about the supposedly "quiet" and "idyllic" town of Gravity Falls. For one thing, there were far more ghosts here than back home, and they all seemed to be hellbent on giving him cryptic warnings. It was pretty hard to casually walk down the street when a little girl in a ripped nightgown was shrieking at you to "BEWARE!". 

(She must have had a speech impediment though, since it came out more like "bewarb") 

While most of the ghosts looked normal enough, every now and then Norman would stumble across someone missing some limbs, or with gouged eyes, or ghostly-bandages being the only thing holding their internal organs inside, and Norman would have to look away to keep himself from turning green. It was obvious to him that the two mysterious twins (he hadn't even caught their names- god, he was so _stupid!_ ) were well-versed in the supernatural side of Gravity Falls, and Norman was itching with curiosity about what, exactly, they knew. He spent entire afternoons mapping out potential conversations in his head, in hopes for whenever he ran into them again. Tried to memorize the most important questions he wanted to ask, and how he'd reply if they were to ask him any. 

Of course, all of Norman's careful planning was blown out the door when, in mid-bite of his scrambled eggs, the two twins came bounding into Greasy's Diner on a sunny Tuesday morning. 

The eggs fell from his fork and made an unappetizing "splat" onto his plate. Norman didn't notice though, as he was staring, wide-eyed, at the twins as they hopped up onto the bar stools, and the girl cheerily called for 2 orders of pancakes. Norman bit his lip, hunching inwards and staring at his plate as he debated between A. hiding under the table of his booth, or B, going over and talking to them in what would surely deteriorate into a suicide mission. Flicking his eyes up at the backs of the twin's heads, Norman suddenly decided that the floor would be a great place to hang out for the rest of the morning, and was preparing to slide under the counter when the girl-twin started spinning around on her stool, laughing.

They locked eyes. Her's widened, and her face split into a grin. "HEY!" She called, waving wildly as if they weren't merely a few feet away from each other. "It's _you!_ You're that guy!". The boy seated next to her spun on his stool as well. "Mabel, stop bother-" he began, glancing casually at the rapidly-curling form of Norman, before doing a double take. "Oh wait, it _is_ you! Hey Norman!" he called, smiling. 

Norman just gave a meek nod and continued his attempt to become the world's first human turtle. His concentration was, unfortunately, shattered by the girl (Mabel?), who leapt off the bar stool and came skipping over, sliding into the booth's seat across from him. "Hiya Norman!" she said, grinning.  Norman just blinked and stared at her. "Um, hi?" he offered. 

The boy came over as well, sighing at his sister's actions and smiling apologetically at Norman as he lingered by the side of the booth.  "So Norman- Is it cool if I call you Norman? Norman, I was just telling Dipper about how weird it was that we hadn't seen you before that time in the forest! Oh, and is it okay if we sit here? Wait, of course it's okay! So anyways, I was wondering if maybe we'd hallucinated or something? Which would be SO weird; can you imagine being the product of someone's subconscious? And _then_ I wondered what my subconsciousness would look like if I were to hallucinate, because I never thought it'd be a spiky haired guy- not to say your hair isn't awesome, because it totally is! It's like. . . like a hedgehog or something! Eee, hedgehogs are _so adorable!_ Almost as cute as Waddles- do you want to see a picture of my pet pig?"

Norman's eyes grew increasingly wider with each sentence that _didn't_ finish with a breath for air, and he kept leaning closer- It wasn't until Mabel paused, taking a small breath, did he lean back against the seat in relief. He'd been afraid her face was about to turn blue or something. Norman just laughed at his expression and slipped into the booth next to his sister. "Again, sorry about my sister man. I'm Dipper, and this is Mabel." Dipper leaned across the table "She gets excited around new people. Just wait until she stops talking, and you should be okay." he stage-whispered conspiratorially, before Mabel blew a raspberry at her brother. 

Norman couldn't hold back the small burst of laughter, and he smiled as the twins bickered for a brief moment, before Dipper turned back to him. "So Norman, you're new to town, right? What do you think of Gravity Falls so far?" Norman blinked, and tried to think of the phrases he'd spent so much time formulating on his own. "Um, it's okay I guess. But. . . I think there's something really weird about this town."

Mabel nodded knowingly, suddenly straight-faced. "I know. It's my brother." she said seriously, before her expression cracked and she giggled. Dipper, however, was staring intently at Norman. "Do you really think so?" he asked cautiously, as Mabel's laughter trickled off. She stared appraisingly at him as well. "Um, yeah. I mean, there's that whole thing with the troll, and all. But there's other stuff, too. Something just doesn't feel right here. Like- like something's crawling under my skin all the time." Norman said, voice growing quiet at the end. 

Dipper nodded understandingly, like he felt the same way. Then the twin's orders of pancakes came over, and Mabel began enthusiastically making faces out of maple syrup. Norman prodded at his now-cold eggs a bit more, assuming they'd all eat and lapse into awkward silence, before Mabel started asking him more questions, her cheeks full of pancakes like a squirrel. Norman would shyly answer, then Dipper would ask him a follow-up question. Norman would answer, and then ask Dipper a question as well. Then Mabel would throw a comment in, before asking Norman another question- and the circle would begin again. 

It took Norman a while to hazily realize, while laughing at a joke Dipper had made, that this was what most people called a _conversation_. Norman was actually having a conversation with two kids his age, and he hadn't needed any of the questions or answers he'd spent so much time on. He felt tempted to fist-pump, or do something else stupid in celebration of his accomplishment. For now though, grinning through a mouthful of bacon would have to do. 

Sometime around Mabel's 3rd pancake, Norman excused himself to go to the bathroom. He couldn't stop smiling for some reason- the twins were really cool, even if Mabel talked a bit too much and Dipper seemed a little on edge at times. The three of them had fallen easily into conversation, and there was something familiar about them. . . something that made it seem as if they'd all known each other for far longer than just 3-4 hours or so. He smiled at the thought. 

Norman was still smiling when he made his way back to the booth, hearing the strains of Mabel's voice float through the diner. 

"-ou're both dorks who like mysteries! It's perfect!" she was saying, grinning as Dipper shoved her by the shoulders and whisper-screamed " _Shut up!_ "  Norman slid back into his seat and raised an eyebrow at the still-grinning Mabel and blushing Dipper. Mabel immediately launched back into conversation and, once his blush faded, Dipper joined in as well.

Later, before they left, Dipper blushed furiously when Mabel eagerly invited Norman to "come by the Mystery Shack anytime! Dipper-" 

Dipper poked her, _hard_. 

"Both of us would love to see you again!" she rephrased, before waving a sweater-ed hand and excitedly calling "BYE!!", as Dipper dragged her away. 

Norman watched bemusedly as they went, and spent the rest of the day in a good mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this is awful, but I think it's at least slightly better than the first chapter? Also, I don't plan on the fic proceeding in a strictly chronological manner- you won't have to endure the 3rd and 4th and 5th times they meet. The next couple of chapters should start being in the midst of their actual friendship. 


	3. During a Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper reached back and propped one of the pillows up, using it to support his neck as he watched his sister bemusedly. "What's up Mabel?" he asked, licking one of his cheese-covered fingers and staring at Mabel's furious search. "I just remembered! I saw it like a week ago, it's somewhere in. . AHA!"
> 
> Mabel triumphantly punched the air, her extended fist clutching something that looked like a patterned placemat. Norman blinked and looked closer. It. . . was it. . .?
> 
> "Is that a Ouija board?"

A month and a half after they'd all met in Greasy's Diner, Norman was being sprayed in the face with SqueezCheese. SqueezCheese was a mysterious, bright orange substance of unknown origin that came from a can. Typically used by overworked housewives and soccer-moms as a substitute in appetizer platters, Norman could say with some certainty that SqueezCheese's creators had never expected their product to be liberally applied on young boy's faces during sleepovers in attics in tiny towns, after defeating the latest monster of the week. 

(It'd been an oddly playful Woman in White, who couldn't have been much older than Wendy)

Even though this week's case had taken a lot more research and tracking than usual, the ghostly teenager had eventually just giggled and winked at the trio, before disappearing in a blast of light. Which meant they'd all ( _finally_ ) been able to trek back to the Mystery Shack, change out of their grimy clothing, and relax in the twin's room. Of course, "relaxing" for them included pillow forts, some cheesy old horror movies and brutal SqueezCheese wars. Norman laughed and blindly aimed his own can towards the general direction of Mabel's giggles, grinning proudly when, having wiped the goop from his eyes, he saw the bullseye he'd hit on her purple nightgown. 

Dipper suddenly popped up from behind a semi-collapsed pillow fort and gave a war cry, firing his can and swerving it back and forth from Mabel to Norman. Mabel laughed and tried helplessly to bat the streams of cheese away from her, but when it just flew into her hair, she spared a quick glance at Norman. Seeing the question in her eyes, Norman nodded once, before they issued a twin-cry of their own and descended on to Dipper, knocking off his cap and getting the cheese into his hair, his mouth and his ears. When Dipper finally yelled "I surrender!", all three of them were breathless and laughing, their hair mussed and their entire bodies _covered_ in cheese. Mabel and Norman both collapsed down onto the pillow pile with Dipper, and the three of them lay there for a while, panting happily and staring up at the rafters. 

Norman gulped a deep breath, smiling as his heart beat, loud in his ears, and tried to comprehend for the millionth time what had happened over the course of the last month. Although Norman had been hesitant, at first, to accept Mabel's offer to "come by anytime!", the decision was kind of made for him when he almost walked right into a vampire. He'd rung the doorbell to the Mystery Shack before he'd even realized he was there, and in the ensuing chaos (Mabel spying on the vampire and getting caught, Dipper desperately trying to flip through his book in the midst of being chased by a giant bat, and Norman calling out to the ghosts lingering around for any potential advice), Norman was surprised by the light, happy feeling that had swelled in his chest, leaving him breathless and grinning - much like his current status.

There'd been a bit of a confrontation a few days later, when the trio had been looking for a lost time capsule and Norman unwittingly learned the location from the ghost of the person who'd buried it. Dipper had looked at him a bit funny when his locational "hunch" turned out to be spot on and, after a few awkward questions that not-really-but-kind-of implied Norman _might_ not be human, Norman just took a deep breath, sighed, and mumbled "I can kinda talk to ghosts." 

Of course, the twins had been fascinated and excited, asking him all sorts of questions about his skills and how long he's had them and what ghosts look like and can you touch them, before Mabel gasped, darted her eyes around and stage-whispered "Are there any ghosts here _right now?_ " 

And then there'd been a few minutes of general panic where Mabel tried to talk to ghosts herself, and Dipper just sort of hunched into a ball, flipping anxiously through the book and flicking his eyes around the entire room- as if now that he knew of their presence, the spirits might attack him at any moment.

The next day, Mabel came bouncing up to Norman's front porch and rang the doorbell within an inch of it's pitiable life. He'd opened the door and blinked a few times, staring surprisedly at Mabel's grinning face and Dipper's smile from his seat in the golf cart by the side walk. Frowning in confusion, Norman managed to ask "What are you doing here?". Mabel just scoffed and linked his arm with her own, telling him "We're picking you up to hang out, silly!", as she led him down the steps and towards the cart. As Norman bemusedly buckled up, Dipper grinned and said "'Morning! So, Mabel and I are _fairly_ certain a water demon is haunting the port-a-potties at the Shack. Areee you interested?" he asked hesitantly, like he wasn't sure Norman would actually want to come. 

And it wasn't until later, covered in tepid toilet water, that Norman realized the twins _actually didn't care_ that he was a total freak of nature. 

After that, Norman just sort of kept hanging around the Mystery Shack. And eventually, he became a constant. Mabel would set three places during lunch time. Wendy would leave extra sodas in the cooler on the roof. Grunkle Stan would gruffly instruct him to go put up fliers or restock shelves, saying that so long as Norman stuck around, he may as well do some work. And Dipper would just grin and invite him to go hang out in the forest. Their wilderness exploring sessions almost always ended up being chased by either a monster or a ghost, (and, on one memorable occasion, _both_ ) but when they'd come home breathless, twigs and leaves in their hair and their shins dirty and scraped, they'd just laugh exuberantly and recount the highlights of the afternoon to each other, like they hadn't both been there. And then Norman started sleeping over and just didn't _stop_ sleeping over, which kinda led to now. 

 _Now_ being Norman's cheese covered hand brushing the back of Dipper's equally cheese coated hand, and now was Mabel suddenly jumping to her feet, sprinting across the wooden floors and rummaging through one of the piles of junk Stan stored up here. Dipper reached back and propped one of the pillows up, using it to support his neck as he watched his sister bemusedly. "What's up Mabel?" he asked, licking one of his cheese-covered fingers and staring at Mabel's furious search. "I just remembered! I saw it like a week ago, it's somewhere in. .  AHA!"

Mabel triumphantly punched the air, her extended fist clutching something that looked like a patterned placemat. Norman blinked and looked closer. It. . . was it. . .?

"Is that a Ouija board?" Dipper asked, voicing Norman's thoughts and raising a brow at the black-and-white board. "YES! It IS!" Mabel announced proudly, setting the board on the foot of her bed and clearing away some of the cheese-covered pillows on the floor. Dipper let out an exasperated laugh. "Mabel, you _do_ realize Norman can talk to ghosts, right? You really don't need that thing- they're just big hoaxes, anyways." Dipper shrugged, glancing at Norman questioningly, as if asking "Right? They _are_ fake?". Norman nodded, before they returned to watching Mabel set up her new game. "Oh don't be so judgmental brother! Besides, Ouija boards are supposed to work with both ghosts AND spirits!"

Norman tilted his head. "Aren't those just the same thing?"

Mabel blew out her tongue, waving a dismissive hand. "Of COURSE they aren't! Spirits are totally different, and _you_ can't talk to them!". (Norman was fairly certain he _could_ , but he didn't add anything). 

"But the Ouija board can!" she said reverently, gazing upon the dusty black letters as if they held the key to all mysteries. "Now come on, you silly butts! I need you to help me do this thing!". 

Reluctantly, with much threatening/bribing from Mabel, Dipper got to his feet and helped Norman up from his sprawled position across the pillows. Norman smiled and muttered his thanks, before both of the boys brushed some grimy cheese bits off of their pajamas and shuffled over, before sitting cross legged. With Mabel, the three of them formed a sort of skewed, triangular star, their knees lightly knocking against each other's with the board in the center, facing Mabel. 

"Um, I don't really know much about Ouija boards, but I kinda thought there were supposed to be candles?" Norman asked, folding his hands on top of his crossed ankles. Mabel perked up while Dipper groaned. "No Mabel. _No_. Absolutely _no_ fire hazards, including candles." he ordered, as if this was an ongoing dispute. Mabel frowned for a moment before clapping her hands. "It'll be fine, we'll just use the old lantern! It only really matters that it's dimly lit, anyways." 

Norman wondered if that were really the case, but he still kept his mouth closed. 

After a long process of getting the lantern, extinguishing the other lights (mostly just Christmas lights, and a few dusty lamps), a bathroom break, some lame jokes that still made them laugh and, finally managing to get all three of them to place their fingers lightly atop the triangular pointer, the trio grew silent for the first time that night. "O Spirits of the Night, speak to us!" Mabel intoned dramatically, which both of the boys had to stifle a small laugh at. Norman's palms felt sweaty, and everyone's hands still had lingering orange remnants of SqueezCheese on them. Also, basically nothing was happening. 

Suddenly, Mabel's hand twitched, and started sliding across the boards Mabel squeaked, surprised, and watched with rapt attention as the small, heart-shaped pointer slid over to the bold word on the bottom corner. 

" **HELLO** "

Mabel grinned. "Thank you for answering, spirit! Can we do anything to show our gratitude that you appeared?"

The pointer began to move again, sliding to a point on the board, pausing for a long moment, and then sliding to another. Norman couldn't make out what letters it rested on though, covered by the pile of hands- the last two letters it paused on might have been "r"? Or maybe "p"? It must have been exciting though, - whatever it was - as Mabel's grin grew with each letter.  

When the pointer finally stilled, having paused over 4 letters, Mabel suddenly flung her hands up from beneath the pile and announced "THE SPIRITS WANT YOU GUYS TO SMOOCH!"

There was a long, frozen minute where Dipper and Norman stared at Mabel, then at each other, and then mostly at the floor. Then Dipper started sputtering and Norman started blushing and Mabel just hushed them and yelled over Dipper, saying "IT'S _IMPORTANT_ , YOU GOTTA SMOOCH OR THE GHOST WON'T TALK TO US.". Dipper was blurting something along the lines of "What kind of spirit makes two guys k-kiss", but Mabel was looking genuinely upset - like she might _cry_ if they didn't kiss - and everyone was shouting and Norman just sort of resigned himself to a night of utter mortification as he grabbed Dipper's arm, stilled him, and then leaned up and pecked him on the cheek. 

Darting back to his seat, Norman stared quite avidly at his socked feet. "That's. . . that's okay, right? The spirit will talk to you now?" he mumbled, feeling his cheeks rush with heat. He didn't dare risk a glance upwards, but if he had, he'd have seen Mabel grinning in satisfaction, and Dipper looking like a shell-shocked tomato. Dipper raised a hand, seemingly unconsciously, to gently touch his cheek. 

Of course, Mabel had removed her hands from the pointer in the beginning. Norman had taken his off to grab Dipper's arm, and now Dipper had moved his to incredulously touch his cheek, like he'd somehow be able to feel the physical reminder of the kiss. 

Which meant nobody had their hands on the board. 

Having noticed this, Mabel heaved an overly-dramatic sigh and shrugged. "Aw shucks! Looks like we lost the connection! With no body heat, the ghost had to skedaddle~". 

If it weren't for the lingering aftereffects of The Kiss, both of the boys would've easily picked up on her completely fake disappointment, given away by her very _happy_ tone. 

But they were both still wrapped up in their brains, so neither of them noticed, and Mabel just giggled and went downstairs to grab some ice cream. And although they all perked up a bit once they had their respective treats, Norman would catch Dipper staring at his lips throughout the night- he'd blush, they'd both glance sharply away, and Mabel would giggle quietly to herself. 

" _They're such cute nerds._ " she thought happily, slurping some of her strawberry ice cream. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, and the spirit who tells the boys to " **K-I-S-S** " was actually me
> 
> I died because of parapines and am now shipping them from the afterlife


	4. At The Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "NORMAN! I just had the BEST idea!" Mabel shrieked.   
> Despite the fact that Norman was, y'know.
> 
> Right there. In front of her.  
> And probably now-deaf. 
> 
> As Dipper sighed and tried not to stare too pointedly at those precious inches between noses (wait, what?), Norman just blinked owlishly and raised a hand to Mabel's elbow, carefully pulling his shoulders from her grip with the hesitance one usually associated with being in the same cage as a feral tiger. "Wanna guess what I came up with???" she asked excitedly, bouncing on her sneakers and lowering her voice to slightly less deafening tones. "U-um, what?" Norman stammered, staring at her apprehensively. Grinning ear-to-ear, Mabel snagged the orange soda, downed a dramatically placed gulp and proudly announced;   
> "You can come with us to the lake this weekend!!"

Whoever came up with hormones- no, wait. Whoever came up with _puberty in general_ was one sick, sick man, Dipper decided.

(Uh. Or sick woman. He wouldn't put it past Mabel to purposefully make confused kids want to smooch each other. Wait, smooch? Oh god, even his inner voice was starting to sound like his sister.)

Anyways. Puberty. Decidedly _not_ awesome, all manly-hair-growing-ness aside. Because puberty? It made things pretty awkward. Especially things like today. (and no he's not putting the blame on puberty because he's in denial about another, far likelier reason for the awkwardness and you can hush right now thank you very much.)

Today just so happened to be Grunkle Stan's regularly scheduled Saturday lake trip. Which, following the first disastrous "family fishing" attempt, had gradually evolved into Stan contentedly fishing by himself, Wendy sunbathing (in boots and a ski hat, no less) and Soos, Mabel and Dipper swimming, joking and just messing around. They'd cook out burgers and hotdogs as the sun went down, before packing up their stuff and heading home, sunburnt and smelling of Eue de Lake. And let me tell you, that was _not_ the finest perfume Dipper's nose had encountered.

By their 4th visit to the lake, everyone's favored ways to pass time had come to a pattern, and everyone was pretty content with the situation. 

But today was different. 

Today was the 5th visit, and this time, one Norman Babcock was accompanying them. 

As always, Mabel had been the one to first form the -dastardly plot- idea. They three of them had been walking around downtown, sharing a bottle of orange soda and debating as to which horror movie was the most thrilling/accurate, when Mabel had suddenly gasped and clapped a hand onto each of the boy's shoulders. Pausing in their conversation, both the boys did their instinctual glance around the street, checking for poltergeists, cement monsters (and yes, such a thing did exist. Dipper had met one once) or rampaging garden gnomes. Though their search came up with nothing incredibly alarming, (except for maybe the Sheriff and his partner feeding each other donuts) Norman was still understandably concerned.

"Mabel? What's wrong?" he asked in low, urgent tones, as Mabel continued gasping and staring past her two friends into space. Dipper, accustomed to his sister's theatrics, just sighed and patted Mabel's hand. "What is it now, Mabel?" he asked, reaching over his sister's sweater-clad form in order to pass Norman the soda. Norman was doing that thing where he was a mix between confused, concerned and relieved, which resulted in his eyebrows creasing and his lips tugging down in a semblance of a frown. Truth be told, Dipper kind of had a soft spot for that expression. And understandably so, as it was basically the only expression Norman ever wore when he was with the Pines twins. 

Well, that and "Oh dear God this monster/ghost/small child with hair bigger than his head is going to kill me", the classic "I really want to laugh but I'm not sure if they're being serious about werewolves???", and, Dipper's personal favorite, the "I can't actually manage to compose myself because I'm laughing/grinning/running too hard." Sorry "I'm still pretty confused but I think it's okay?" frown, but you just can't compete with a breathless, flushed Norman who sometimes makes these sort-of adorable snorting sounds when he laughs too hard.

And yes, Dipper does have names for his best friend's top 4 facial expressions. 

Seriously. Puberty-induced hormones. The most fearsome monsters he's come across yet.

Anyways, Mabel had continued gasping for a full 11 seconds, before she turned and propped both of her hands atop Norman's shoulders, looming towards him until their noses were inches apart from each other. "NORMAN! I just had the BEST idea!" Mabel shrieked. 

Despite the fact that Norman was, y'know.

Right there. In front of her.

And probably now-deaf. 

As Dipper sighed and tried not to stare too pointedly at those precious inches between noses (wait, _what?_ ), Norman just blinked owlishly and raised a hand to Mabel's elbow, carefully pulling his shoulders from her grip with the hesitance one usually associated with being in the same cage as a feral tiger. "Wanna guess what I came up with???" she asked excitedly, bouncing on her sneakers and lowering her voice to slightly less deafening tones. "U-um, what?" Norman stammered, staring at her apprehensively. Grinning ear-to-ear, Mabel snagged the orange soda, downed a dramatically placed gulp and proudly announced; 

"You can come with us to the lake this weekend!!"

And after that, there'd been no stopping her. Both Dipper and Norman had come up with an encyclopedia's worth of problems, complaints, bribes and reasons, but Mabel had refused to relent. Not even accusations of "But Norman doesn't even know how to swim!" would persuade her- she just scoffed and said she'd be sure to bring her arm-floaties for him. Though the two of them persisted in their attempts up until they actually arrived to the lake, it was to no avail. For some reason, Dipper felt as if Norman coming to the lake was a really, _really_ bad idea- but he wasn't sure why, since he thought Norman was a super-awesome guy and all.

. . .but now, he knew why. 

The reason why this was a terrible, horrifically catastrophic idea was because _lakes_ usually entailed _swimming_. And _swimming_ involved _swim suits_ , which meant - you guessed it! - bare chests. 

Not that Dipper had an issue with his chest. He knew full well how aggressively non-hairy his was, and, after a while, he'd come to terms with not having any chest hair. It was disappointing, sure, but he figured he'd grow some at some point in the future, so it was fine until then. 

(Right? I mean, he had to grow some hair _eventually_ , right?)

Anyways. His chest? Fine. Soos' chest? Also fine. It was covered by too many rolls of fat and, more often than not, a t-shirt, to really count. Grunkle Stan was typically courteous enough to wear a fishing vest, but Dipper had also grown accustomed to his gross, hairy-old-man chest. 

But this was different. Because this was Norman. And somehow, though Norman appeared to be as startlingly hair-less as Dipper, Norman actually managed to make it look good. 

Really, _really_ good. 

(oh god what is even going ON in his mind? Honestly, he needs to start spending more time apart from Mabel and her boy-crazy antics)

Anyways. Swimming. At a lake. With a shirtless Norman Babcock. 

It hadn't been too bad, before: at first, Dipper, Norman, Mabel and Soos had just messed around on the shore, building sandcastles and pitching tents constructed from their collective beach towels. But then the sun had started to grate on all of them, and Mabel busted out her purple swim goggles as Soos did his best to blow up their impressive collection of floaties, leaving Norman and Dipper to sit awkwardly on their towels (" _Zombie Night_ " movie poster and a Mystery Shack High Quality Piece of Mystical Terrycloth™, respectively). Norman had dug his toes into the sand, bunching fists in his red board shorts, before Dipper decided to bite the bullet and peel his vest and orange shirt off. As he shook off his Mystery Shack Cap™, Norman stared at him, before abruptly ducking his head as Dipper glanced at him. 

"Y-youuu wanna go swimming?" Dipper offered lamely, wincing at how high his voice had become. Norman was chewing frantically on his bottom lip (a nervous tic, as Dipper had learned, that left Norman's lips looking terribly cracked and ridiculously tempting- wait what NO. Oh god he's going to die from these hormones, isn't he? Death by hormones?) and trying very hard not to look up at Dipper, who gave himself a self-conscious once over. Sure, he didn't exactly have six-pack abs, but what 12 year old did? He didn't think he looked _that_ horrible.

"U-um, sure. You go first though, I-I. . . Um, sunscreen! I'll just, put some sunscreen on. And then swim. Yup. Sunscreen. And then swimming. After sunscreen. Yup." Norman blurted as he jumped up and headed towards their car for the sunscreen, leaving a slightly suspicious Dipper in his wake. Norman didn't talk much, god forbid ramble. _Had he been possessed again?_ Dipper wondered, with a sort of exasperated concern. Norman sucked in ghostly possessions like Gideon's hair sucked in the souls of small children, and Dipper had already performed 2.5 exorcisms in the past 24 hours.

(Trust me, you don't want to know about the .5)

Eventually, Dipper had shrugged off his suspicions and dived into the lake, splashing Mabel and trying to swim under her to grab her ankles. There was a lot of shrieking and splattering, which probably explained why he didn't notice Norman until Norman was _right_ there, treading water and still biting his lip. "H-heyy Norman! Glad you could join u-".

Dipper was abruptly cut off by Mabel splashing a veritable tsunami over Norman's head, drenching his hair and causing him to launch into a coughing fit as the murky lake water rushed down his throat. "WOW, your hair stays like that even when it's wet?!" Mabel asked cheerily, as Norman spluttered, hacked out a breath, and then sank down beneath the lake water. "Ahaha, good one Norman!" Mabel laughed, before staring somewhat quizzically at the cloud of bubbles that were appearing above the water. 

". . .Norman?" she called faintly, before sharing a horrified glance with Dipper and staring back down at the water. "Oh NO! Dipper, Norman DIED! Oh no Ohnoohno, I'm a murderer!" she wailed, eyes wide beneath her swim-goggles. With the sort of nervous determination Dipper usually only felt whilst running away from monsters, he slapped his own green goggles over his eyes, gulped a breath and ducked underwater, squinting through the cloudy lake water.

Thankfully, Norman's red board-shorts did that weird glowy-thing all bright colors did in murky water, and it was fairly easy to spot him. His eyes were squeezed shut, his limbs slack as he floated towards the bottom. Dipper had a split-second of panic where he thought " _Oh god, my sister killed my-_ "

But once he realized he had no clue how he intended to end that sentence, Dipper shook his head to clear his thoughts, hair dragging through the water, before latching a hand onto Norman's limp wrist and dragging him up to the surface. He broke the water with a gasp, curling his arms around the other boy's waist in order to keep him upright. Dipper was only vaguely aware of Mabel's voice from somewhere behind him, as an observation suddenly pierced through his cloud of overwhelming relief:

Norman still hadn't opened his eyes. And his chest wasn't moving.

Dipper frantically paddled to shore, which, thankfully, wasn't too far away. "I need a lifeguard over here!" he yelled as he reached the muddy sand, and his voice definitely did not crack _at all_ , nope, not a bit, no matter what his sister might claim. 

*ahem*. Anyways. . . 

Rolling Norman onto his back in the sand, Dipper uselessly fluttered his hands above Norman's chest, trying to figure out how to help. He looked so fragile, his skin pale and clammy in comparison to the crummy sand and his bright red shorts. The bags beneath his eyes stood out in stark relief, and Dipper had a moment of panic, of _it's too late, he's already gone_ , before Mabel poked him in the arm, hard. He spared a quick, jerky glance at her, his eyes wide with helpless concern. "What do you think you're DOING? Just give him CPR, you butt!" she yelled, gesturing down to the still-motionless Norman. 

Dipper, however, had _no freaking clue_ how one went about orchestrating CPR. But at the time, it was the only logical suggestion. So, throwing all caution to the wind and dredging every single memory of cinematic resuscitations he'd ever seen, Dipper pumped hard on Norman's chest, vaguely in the area of his lungs(?) _1-2-3-4_ times. _1-2-3-4_ again, thinking of that cheesy song he'd heard that, supposedly, had the perfect beat for CPR. " _Haa, haa, haa, haa, Staying alive, staying alive,_ " he muttered, somewhat hysterically, under his breath. 

Mabel poked him again. "Not sure if you noticed this Mabel, but I'm kind of busy here!" he said shrilly, panicking as a dribble of water leaked between Norman's lips. Mabel ignored him. "You have to breath in his mouth too! Pinch his nose and smooch him while blowing out!" she yelled, in her own weird way of encouragement. 

Now Dipper may've been panicking over the life of his closest friend, but he wasn't so irrational to instantly follow his sister's instructions. His hands, which had been regularly pumping out a 70's disco beat, now faltered. He froze for a second, giving his sister a nervous glance which was only met with frantic nodding. Dipper swallowed, before gulping another breath and leaning down, oh-so-slowly, to Norman's faintly-blue lips. His hand reluctantly crept up to pinch Norman's nostrils together, and Dipper could _feel_ his own nervous breath, bouncing up to him against cold lips. He leant closer and closer, heart beating frantically in some crazy, hormonal melting pot of anxiety, bone-deep panic, anger at Mabel for basically murdering his best friend, and some weird, curling tendril of pleased excitement(???)

(You know what, forget it. He gives up on hormones. Dipper is resigned to making absolutely ZERO sense until he's 18 or something.)

Their lips were barely centimeters apart, and Dipper could smell the lake water drying in Norman's hair when, suddenly, Norman's stormy gray-blue eyes flickered open and he gasped a choking breath; water trying to force it's way up and air trying to force it's way down simultaneously. Dipper froze, still-leaning over Norman and their lips practically touching, before the confused haze cleared from Norman's eyes and he blinked up at Dipper. At which point, Dipper's mind was split: half of it observing the droplets of water that clung to Norman's eyelashes, weighing them down thick and black, and half of it drowning beneath a crushing wave of _ohgodthankyougloriousbeautiful_ _relief_ and a major appreciation to heretofore unknown 70's bands. 

Also, the whole "downing beneath a crushing wave" thing was a _really_ poor metaphor choice on Dipper's part.

Then, once Norman's startled confusion made way for blushing and incoherent stammering, Dipper suddenly remembered _Oh hey, I'm basically pinning down and kissing my best friend_ , and promptly sprawled backwards, rolling on his ankles and falling on his butt in the damp sand. As Norman stammered his thanks and apologies (what was he apologizing for, Dipper wondered?), Dipper could only nod vaguely and focus on the weird disappointed tinge that stained his thoughts. What was _that_ all about? 

_Freakin' hormones._

(Subsequently, no one other than Soos noticed when Mabel heaved a frustrated sigh and shook her fist skywards. "Curses! My evil plot has been spoiled yet again! But I'll succeed one day! _One day!_ " she cackled evilly, rubbing her hands together. Soos just blinked at her, and slowly backed away.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >sobs _go forth and be free, my child_ before exploding into a million caterpillars
> 
> I've been working on this chapter since the end of November oh god
> 
> this is truly a testament to my procrastinative skills
> 
> i feel very proud of myself ; v ;


End file.
